May 25, 2008

Giving Myself away

The other day I heard an idea expressed in a new idea. It was about giving, giving as an action of mind. Giving means the giving away of my ideas of what I need to be comfortable, and to be happy. Fact is I don't know what I really need. No one knows. Yet I have all sorts of ideas and patterns established in my mind on how to get what I think I need. Along these lines of thought I will always experience lack, because my ideas are ideas of lack. As I give them away, I am not bound by them, but open to experience a new freedom.

Master Teacher left his body. I don't see him anymore, and that is getting to me now. At first I felt simply gratitude for him, and joy, experiencing that nothing really happened, that all is well and continuing according to God's plan. Yet there seems to be a cleanup happening. That initial sense of freedom and love made way to sadness and even depression. It is catching up with me emotionally. I simply miss Master Teacher. He "was" such a strong reference and guarantee of an alignment with truth in my mind. I simply want him back. Pure selfishness. That is the way my story goes. While I know it is just a story of mine -- I am never sad/depressed about Master Teacher leaving his body for the reason I think -- it is too late already. I feel the emotions. I can't hide from them. I can't think myself out of them. That is not what I am asked to do. Everything changes as I let go of the meaning I have given everything.

Obviously, I can't fill the gap by my own means. I may try to substitute, but it won't work. I don't want healing to be delayed. The discovery is, as always, very simple. I don't have to do anything except to be honest and truly admit to what is going on with me. As I do this with all of me, not trying to exclude my emotions, I clearly see the healing coming from God. I can't solve my situation. I can't make Master Teacher come back. I give my need to God, and find it fulfilled in a more direct and comforting way than ever before. My need disappears. I am free. Simply because I don't insist on a specific solution. I don't need to know what will happen. I don't justify my story. I simply give it to God, because I am sick and tired of my own judgment and subsequent failure to solve my problem.

It is so simple. How could I ever miss this? It is applicable for any problem I perceive. God takes care of me, if I let Him. God is my strength, my Reality. It is a miracle.

We always teach, "give yourself away". It doesn't matter what it is I give. Asking for help and not hiding myself is giving. God only gives. God is love. He never gives me anything but love, no matter where I am coming from. Yet I can't receive unless I give. I won't find help, unless I ask for help, and trust. I won't find forgiveness, unless I offer forgiveness. Beyond this world there is a world I want. It is all in my trusting or for-giving.

"The children of God are entitled to the perfect comfort that comes from perfect trust. Until they achieve this, they waste themselves and their true creative powers on useless attempts to make themselves more comfortable by inappropriate means. But the real means are already provided, and do not involve any effort at all on their part. The Atonement is the only gift that is worthy of being offered at the altar of God, because of the value of the altar itself. It was created perfect and is entirely worthy of receiving perfection. God and His creations are completely dependent on each other. He depends on them because He created them perfect. He gave them His peace so they could not be shaken and could not be deceived. Whenever you are afraid you are deceived, and your mind cannot serve the Holy Spirit. This starves you by denying you your daily bread. God is lonely without His Sons, and they are lonely without Him. They must learn to look upon the world as a means of healing the separation. The Atonement is the guarantee that they will ultimately succeed." (A Course In Miracles, Chapter 2.III)

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