When I first saw the book "A Course In Miracles" I got scared even by the sheer volume of the book. I was tired of reading more of what I did not understand. What would this have to offer me? Today I gladly admit I had no clue. I see that it is truly a miracle that I even found it, and that I was able to see its relevance for myself.
When I was at the end of my twenties, I reached an impasse in my life, I was desperate. Nothing did really make sense to me. Nothing showed me a solution to the many problems that beset me or anyone else. Therapy was slow and quite expensive. My life had no purpose except what I wanted it to be. Yet I could not formulate a positive goal that would hold more than an hour, if I was willing to really look at it. I did not know what the hell I am supposed to do here. That was the most frightening thing to me. I felt like I am absolutely failing my life. That is what death is to me. Something had to happen, and it did.
"A Course in Miracles" showed me a true purpose for my time being here. Because I am not from this world, because I am perfect as God created me, I have to undergo a change of identity, a fundamental change of mind. My body identity has nothing to do with who I am, and yet it is the center of all my thoughts. There is nothing to fear, because God is love, and I am sustained by the love of God. And yet, virtually everything frightens me.
I need a mind training to unlearn what I have learned about myself. I need a miracle in the undoing of what I think I am and do in my thinking. My thoughts are causing all my difficulties, all my pain and all my unhappiness. I am affected only by my thoughts. I need therefore mind training to learn to let go and not give meaning to what can only hurt myself and everyone related to me. I need to learn to be still to let thoughts come to me that speak of my true nature, of my natural inheritance, of the fact that I am sustained by the love of God. Today I have learned to let the Course mean what it says. It means exactly what it says, it says what Jesus wants me to hear and learn. It comes from Jesus. It is my bridge to my reality, my salvation, my remembrance of who I am in truth.
The Course teaches me that I have to give in order to receive. It teaches me that I have to teach in order to learn. Not only that, it says I have no choice whether I teach or not. I constantly teach, even in my sleeping. Mind is active all the time. I therefore constantly teach what I think I am. That is quite shocking to a human mind. Look at the chaos of thought in your mind. What could you possibly learn in such a conflicted state? The Course provides you with the means to choose what you want to teach on the basis of what you want to learn. In that it is very clear that the Course is a means of conversion. It places all responsibility of teaching who I am on me. I am whatever I think I am. I cannot not teach. So what is it what I teach? In my condition of death and sleep I obviously do not pay attention to what I teach, although I nevertheless learn what I teach.
It is a means of conversion because it starts out with a fundamentally different thought to teach myself. In that I unlearn what I have learned about myself. The undoing itself is a miracle, because I obviously cannot change myself. But I can let myself be changed in asking for help from God, from what has to be universal reality or truth. I learn to recognize the problem and give it over to God who does not know of problems. I learn to not hold on to myself, to my ideas about myself. In letting go I am undone. In constantly letting go I remember who I am as God's Son, being revealed what freedom truly is and finally disappearing into the heart of God in His final step of the healing of my mind.
"A Course In Miracles" is a perfect tool in any respect you want to look at it. It does not sell itself nor establish a new religion. It is only concerned with the transformation of my mind, with a universal experience that is mine for the asking, because it is God's Will.
Being Jesus' gift to me it is the greatest thing that could ever happen to me. It is my way out of the hell I made. It gives me the keys to the Kingdom in a way I can understand and love. What is the essential key? It is forgiveness. Forgiveness of what no one ever did to me, forgiveness of what I thought to be, forgiveness of what I thought you are, forgiveness of what I thought what God is, because there is no objective reality. There is only my mind. Forgiveness paves the way for truth to dawn on my mind.
Truth is true, and nothing else is true.
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
That is the peace of God, and when I am fearful, I do not exist.